"Don't stab my toes with forks!"
"You can cover your bum and your penis if you want to."
"Boy I hope that was already in your hand."
Insert your own context here. It would probably be more entertaining than the actual thing.
One of the most interesting things I'm discovering as a parent is how incredibly mundane the strangest situations can be. I mean, it's not that normal to have to come up with a story starring Batman and a talking watermelon for someone who's pooping. And yet, when it happens enough times, it stops being strange when you're there...
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